After a late night with Pete and crew, I wanted to take a day off. You know, a day off. No EB. No compulsive drives to drewuniversity. No going out and driving all over the place, just a day off from everything. Not even a trip to the mall or friends. Despite maidoftheshore begging for me to find Pete and get out, I managed to make it through a day as a shut-in. Normally, when I try to do this, I give up around eleven and head out for a bite. Sometimes I just need a day like this to purge, to flush everything out. Nothing but media, sleep, meditation, and water. Well, maybe a warm Dew from my trench coat to stave off headaches. Spent some quality time with Hambone.

Feeling introspective based on the conversations with drunken belligerent non-understanding maidoftheshore, hours reading Microserfs (the morning blessing from aaronkliger last week) while focusing on the reflective sections, watching Ghost in the Shell for the first time in ages, and chatting with Theresa for the first time in years. Last time I talked to her, she was an angry spiteful disturbed girl calling me early in the morning during my freshman year at drewuniversity. Then a series of AIMs she later denied. Both left a bitter taste in my mouth. Well, I deserved it, for reasons most of you know. Amusing how the old DVD's have all these promotional segments about how great these new DVD things are.

So between a belligerent person, a now spiritual Theresa, and various sources of media... bleh. I feel like the teenaged kingfox, only weaker, and less forgiving. I'm not even bothering to go through the motions, I'm not going to feed the lines, I'm not going to play with the yo-yos. Been there. Got the shirt. Older, wiser, slower. Despite the disjointed nature of the conversation with Theresa, it helped me greatly.

``I'm not happy where I am, but I'm quite happy with my path and the direction I'm going.''
``I recognize the light. I don't embrace it, or live by it, but I acknowledge it, as I now do the darkness instead of embracing it.''
``I'm honored. I'm sure the book won't be flattering towards me, but I'm truly honored. Thank you.''
``Yes, a horny goat. But maybe a slacker goat?''
``Just because I'm always a butterfly doesn't mean that I'm not miserable in those settings.''

towelboy wrote a poem named God Part III February 9^th, 1999. The poem reminds me quite a bit of the intro to Peace Sells.

Tomorrow I think I'll explore the world and find the time to catch up on the past few weeks, making a massive post summing it all up.

Feeling: contemplative
Listening to: A medly of classic rock