All right, now we're going to take everybody in this arena now we're going to have everybody cooking. All right, we've got everybody screaming their lungs out. And this time, I want to feel pain in both my ears when you scream, all right? I want to go back to the doctor when I get back to England, I want to have to say, "Los Angeles destroyed my hearing," all right?
I'm glad to see that I'm on the top of the hypothetical ``would sleep with'' ladder. Thank you, misogynistic intellectual whores. Anyway, saw that essay on sextips, found it funny that I was on the top of the left ladder. I've found myself on the right ladder for a good deal of my formative years, only finally learning how to stick on the left ladder or work my way over the gap later in high school. Since then I've tried to learn how to be on both, and have had problems balancing it out. But thanks to carrisse, I know how to get free Coke, which is windexcowboy's fantasy made real.
Worked on Sunday, did little Friday, and had an awesome time at a party on Saturday... unlike most of me chums, who ended up not having as great of a time. So, kingfox, what happened Saturday? Beyond someone getting scroll lock turned on? Well, I'll tell you....
towelboy was throwing a party, as I mentioned earlier, which I ended up not going to, as I explained. A) I thought it was kosher to come Friday, 2) I have blown off the host of the party I attended a few dozen times since I met him six years ago, III) my car's acting even worse, with the oil gauge dropping despite any fixes that have been tried, and Four) I had to work early Sunday unfortunately.
So I ended up going to He-who-shall-not-LJ's gathering. Yeah, I checked his computer to make sure he didn't make one on the sly. It being his party, I ended up kissing more guys then girls by the end of the night. So let's check the quotes:
- windexcowboy: Prosagpagnosia, whatever the fuck you say, Russ.
- angryjonny: If it wasn't for the five shots of tequila, that would be romantic.
- angryjonny: He's burrowing behind me!
- SomeOneElseWhoIsLJless: It's good to have friends, because if I didn't, I would be puking in a corner of the bathroom right now... Wait a minute... To put things in proper perspective, if I didn't have friends, I wouldn't be drunk.
- oidhche: Who's touching my bear ass?
- The Hostess With the Mostess: Do I throw a party or what?
- angryjonny: Five dollars and a breath mint will get you a blow job from me.
- oidhche: Are you enjoying wiggling in my ass?
- angryjonny: I'm impressed, a gallon of Gatorade by his bed. Is that to go the extra mile, like the marathon runners who refuel along the way?
- windexcowboy: Why is there a ``Save Joey'' fund? What is that going to accomplish? Here's some money cat, go out in the world, buy stuff! In my opinion, the funniest line of the night.
- windexcowboy: Russ is driving... driving Miss Daisy!
- kingfox: But what is our demographic, the Gloria and Russ demographic?
LJless person: Wait, we're starring in the porno, not buying it. We're not vain.
kingfox: Hey, I'll buy it.
LJless person: *Dirty look at kingfox*
People who had not experienced a drunken windexcowboy got to see him burrowing under a couch like his maid, singing Avril Lavigne, Moulin Rouge (Holy Bob was I impressed with oidhche's better half's can can dance), and rattling off the IPs for various key servers at drewuniversity. The salsa dish fucking rocked. You negotiated with it, obtained a lease, and had a chance to obtain some salsa before your session expired. Hell, there was even the chance to watch HeWhoRemainsLJless dance with a woman dressed in cellophane, showing off all the cool dances he's picked up with all the lessons he's been taking. oidhche was hilarious as a giant polar bear, in an impressive homemade costume. Holding a coke bottle or a whip at various points of the evening, he gave the LJless host a lap dance that will haunt my mind for years, but was worth paying for. windexcowboy came as Balmer, complete with spray bottle to apply sweat as needed. I was a wuss, and came as Mark Hazelbaker, which impressed no one. caniswolfie had my favorite costume of the evening.
So it's the end of the world, with ogun kissing girls and me kissing boys. Though every kiss of the evening was thanks to the host's cloven fruit, which ran out of cloves and even got bitten by the end of the gathering.
After dropping windexcowboy off, I got pulled over by Madison's finest. Of course, I take my hair out of my hair tie, and the cop finds me. I once heard someone explain that for a white man to truly understand racial profiling, they'd have to grow long hair or do something similar to make them a target. So, driving past Drew in blackface, I got pulled over.
Officer (2:48:30 AM): Good evening. I pulled you over because I didn't see a front liscence plate.
Officer (2:48:52 AM): Ok, I see you have one. Just driving around tonight?
Me (2:49:01 AM): Yup. Just playing designated driver, on my way home, just dropped a friend off.
Officer (2:49:10 AM): Great. Liscence, registration, and insurance please?
Me (2:49:12 AM): Sure, officer.
Like, fucking shit, you really have to just make up a random excuse to pull me long-haired metal-looking boy in your rich area over? Reminds me of the time that my high school drinking buddy Lord Minty and I got tailed through three different towns by a police officer (both of us with lovely long blond hair), going the speed limit the whole time, finally pulled over after a long slow follow the leader game. Officer waits until the local police (for the town we had passed into), county police, and state police all showed up. He informs me that my back liscence plate light was out (giving the county DA's son a ride home, he slammed the trunk too hard and broke the light), and asked to search my car. Dumb kid I was, I let him. After searching my friend and I, sniffing his cigs, he proceeded to spend close to half an hour searching through the mess that was my back seat, finding nothing, but having to sniff every single empty cig pack (DA's son and Minty both being smokers). Meanwhile, the local cop and the county cop joked with us and picked fights with each other, while the state trooper sat off to the side and gave us all evil looks. A fun night, educational in many ways, but boy do they reach sometimes for an excuse to get you on something.
But what else is going on in Madison at three in the morning, besides me passing through after a long evening?