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Observed behavior - Virtual Sacrifice Log
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kingfox
kingfox
Observed behavior
Poll #965201 Pop tarts

How do you put your toaster pastries into a top-loaded toaster?

So they stand vertically
32(78.0%)
So they lie horizontally
9(22.0%)

Current Location: 40.7621,-74.4226
Feeling: curious curious
Listening to: RCPM, Contraband

Chorus of 27 demons || Preach it
Comments
ruxxell From: ruxxell Date: April 12th, 2007 05:20 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
horizontally is dangerous because sometimes they get stuck in there, or they tilt into the burner and you have no way of fixing it easily. vertically gives yout he extra inch you need to make sure you dont burn the shit out of it.
bzoppa From: bzoppa Date: April 12th, 2007 05:28 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
I'm curious how he gets them out if they're horizontal. Turn over the toaster? Stick a knife in or something to pull it out? At least vertical you can, erm, pick it up. Heh.
lulong From: lulong Date: April 12th, 2007 05:46 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
I don't know about him, but I have some flat, wooden tongs to grab them. They work really well for the littler half of an english muffin too. . . You know, the one that is always too small to get out with your fingers?

;-)
bzoppa From: bzoppa Date: April 12th, 2007 05:48 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
lol. I know the sticking a knife in is a bad thing (electrocution and all), and I honestly didn't even think of using a wooden implement. I suppose that could certainly work!
lulong From: lulong Date: April 12th, 2007 05:51 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
They are pretty cool, you can find them at most kitchen stores, like Kiss the Cook or somthing.

:-)
runstaverun From: runstaverun Date: April 12th, 2007 08:10 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
they are also a frequent school art-project ... think of how much your mom and/or dad would love some popsicle sticks glued to a block of wood!
lulong From: lulong Date: April 12th, 2007 08:12 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Oh hey, that would be kinda cool.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: April 12th, 2007 06:52 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
The toaster pops them back up, I put my nimble fingers in, and lift it out. *shrug* It's never been an issue.
ruxxell From: ruxxell Date: April 12th, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
right, i think youre sposed to try and spring load the laodning mechanism to shoot them out. and then catch them. and then treat the burns.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: April 12th, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Damn. I guess I've always been living dangerously.

I think I've been doing it because I once had a kinda crappy toaster that didn't have the best of heating elements, so a vertical Pop Tart would come out with the bottom 3/4 toasted and the top 1/4 uncooked. Even though I'm no longer living with ghetto toasting technology, I got used to doing it that way to get a more even toast.
dosboof From: dosboof Date: April 12th, 2007 07:05 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Yeah, this was my logic. As for the "I can't reach them," I just manually push down the lever 3/4 the way after it's done, and then quickly shove it back up, to cause them to pop out. Works every time.

That said, I've had a toaster oven for 3 or so years now, so this is a thing of the past for me.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: April 12th, 2007 07:09 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Despite living with one a few different times, and even living in a household with ONLY a toaster oven, I've never been drawn over to that camp.
From: csmole Date: April 12th, 2007 09:15 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Goddamn

You know when you can't afford the 20 bucks for a new toaster (I assume it was laziness, but don't interrupt me), you one BROKE-ASS sonofabitch.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: April 14th, 2007 02:14 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: Goddamn

I wasn't an adult, and had more important things to spend my money on anyway.
rizzo From: rizzo Date: April 12th, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Y'all horizontal-laying-Poptart-people are strange.
runstaverun From: runstaverun Date: April 12th, 2007 07:27 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
I did completely enjoy your rationale for putting them in horizontally: apparently vertical positioning leaves some of the poptart uncooked, and you like yours "tarted up" (I forget the exact phrasing, but it was funny)
kingfox From: kingfox Date: April 12th, 2007 07:47 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
I think modern consumer toasters don't have the problem that my old skool ghetto toaster did back in the day, though.
shmivejournal From: shmivejournal Date: April 12th, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
jay: question
larsson: ye ssir
jay: have you noticed a marked decrease in russell sprague badgering
larsson: i've noticed a marked decrease in anything russell sprague related
larsson: but yes
jay: i have posited a theory that his real world badgering has most likely transmuted into wow world badgering, it has not gone away
larsson: i see.
larsson: conservation of badgerment
jay: and we are merely saved from this by the fact that the cost to entry barrier is too high for badgering to take place
jay: yes
jay: badgering cannot be created or destroyed, i like that
larsson: i think you need to write this up as a formal physical Law
larsson: and i think it is "Badgerment" not "Badgering".. the former is more humorous in a sentence.
jay: i will also like to mention that i just quoted donald knuth to russell with regard to his toaster pastry alignment optimization
larsson: what was the Don Knuth quote?
jay: Donald Knuth said, "We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time: premature optimization is the root of all evil."
larsson: ah yes
jay: i will say that is probably true. i try not to optimize things if they are relatively minor.
jay: only when things get looped does real analysis pay off
larsson: yes... small optimizations cost more to implement and increase complexity.
larsson: it's a good design principle.. you certiantly don't optimize anything that executes in constant time.
jay: i concur

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daylami From: daylami Date: April 12th, 2007 09:10 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Mmm... badger mints.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: April 12th, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Taste the Wisconsin!
kikibird From: kikibird Date: April 12th, 2007 08:44 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
most of the time I just eat them raw
kingfox From: kingfox Date: April 12th, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Some flavors are better raw. Some flavors are fine either way. But the ones I've been getting lately from utini2 or the vending machine really shine toasted.
daylami From: daylami Date: April 12th, 2007 09:18 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
I would put 'em in vertically, because the chocolate ones tend to get brittle on the edges and I need some insurance in case I lose cookie matter to the crumb tray. If you have to unplug and dig a blazing-hot Tart out with a fork, the gooey fudge is going to slide and there will be major Pop-Tart cleavage and a carmelised mess in the slot.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: April 12th, 2007 09:21 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
I got to "major Pop-Tart cleavage" and just couldn't continue without giggling.
agentorrange From: agentorrange Date: April 12th, 2007 10:40 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Horizontally?

Could someone send me a picture to show me how this is done? I'm not seeing it.
idunn From: idunn Date: April 13th, 2007 03:55 am (UTC) (Hard link)

My former vegan self would be horrified to know this, but ...

Hate toaster pastries. They're too sweet. I'll stick with something healthy. Like cheerios. Or pig. Have you ever had Irish breakfast ... in Ireland? HOLY GOD. For years, sometimes the Irish were lucky to have Guinness and sausage and eggs, cooked the Irish way, and that was it. I could live that way.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: April 13th, 2007 05:51 am (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: My former vegan self would be horrified to know this, but ...

I actually don't really ever eat breakfast. Toaster pastries are a good post-lunch or in place of lunch snack. They're not something I want to start the day with. Bleh.

Brunch, meanwhile, I've become a huge fan of. Which blows, as How I Met Your Mother demonstrates.
Chorus of 27 demons || Preach it