Tonight was the gala for this year's SIGUCCS. Imagine, if you would, a bunch of mall employees hanging out in the largest mall in North America (and until recently the world), built in the frozen flat northern wastes. Like Winterspring, only flat and with better hunting (don't have to kite them). So these mall employees are doing copious amounts of drugs to deal with their jobs, and one young enterprising soul is browsing fanfic websites in their underoos. Ah, what's this? The lowest rated Seinfeld fanfic? Jerry and Elaine get married at the end? George ends up with Newman's sister? It's set around Jerry opening a comedy club/dinner joint with the soup nazi and what's her face cooking? Hey - let's rip this off and make some money off of it! Bob, that guy who shovels dog shit in the pet store looks kind of like Kramer. Susie, the girl behind the Orange Julius counter, could pull off George's mother. Let's see if we can work in fifty different songs (30% of them Canadian, of course) for people to sing and dance to. Then we'll trap them in this dinner theater from 6:30 to past 10. Plenty of audience participation, watered down drinks so that a pitcher of Mai Tai is basically OJ that was squeezed near a bottle of rum, and we'll space out food to keep them around all night. And, of course, we'll hold it in the mall.
This, dear readers, was our evening. The pirate themed seal show, awesome. The presentations had some real awesome ideas and points. Conversations and round table sessions with peers from other universities were rocking as always. The mall, being a huge fan of malls and mall architecture for a variety of reasons, was tremendous. The themed areas and attractions were hilarious. The largest indoor water park in the world was a blast. I've met some cool people from universities doing some cool things, saw people I'm a fan of again and caught up with what they're doing, and it's been a good conference. Then the last night I found myself watching a stroke unfold. Wow.
I'm sorry if anyone from that show ever reads this. Maybe I'm a snob, but holy cow.
Also, cornered someone from UW-Madison and tried to pressure them into hosting SIGUCCS like I did two years ago. One year...
EDIT: Fuck you for that, graye. I'm sure you're to blame somehow. Maybe you were bitter over the text message about the fruit explosion muffin, sparky, but that was dirty pool.