☞Wasteland Warlock☜ (kingfox) wrote,
☞Wasteland Warlock☜
kingfox

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Step into my evil lair...

I have a problem.

An addiction, as it were.

I'm a hardcore video game addict.

At this point you're probably scoffing at this, dear reader, and scrolling down to the next entry. But I assure you, I have a real problem.

jenniever can attest to me not wanting to do anything until I've made sure that my daily KoL and LotGD (less of the latter lately) turns are taken.

But it goes far beyond that.

Right after my sophomore year at drewuniversity, I stayed on campus over the summer to continue and work at the camera store that had employed me for the past year. Knowing my problem, I didn't let them know that I had returned to campus. Before unpacking, before letting my friends know I was around, I set up my laptop and played Starcraft until I was done. When I needed to pass out, I passed out on the bare thin campus mattress. When aaronkliger figured out that I was around, he tried calling over and over.
I'm about to drop the hammer!
``Hey, Russ, want to get something to eat?''
SCV, good to go, sir.
I can't build it, something's in the way.
``I'm a bit busy right now.''
Hailing frequencies open.
Go ahead tac-com.
``Russ, you need to eat.''
After playing through the entire campaign, I called the store up, and let them know I was back and ready to work. I knew that I had to do that first, or there would be problems. That past January I already had the joy of sitting in a triple by myself playing video games for most of the month.

It was worse the school year before that, living with towelboy and hiphopatcong. Dungeon Keeper hit me in a big bad way that fall. It stole me away from my girlfriend, food, class, sleep, and everything else. My roomies would check to see how I was doing, just asking what level I was on over and over again. At one point I played it somewhere between thirty-two and thirty-six hours straight. I had soda near me, ran down the hall to pee when I needed to, and a few snacks nearby. It was quite sad, and I think that's still my record for number of hours gaming without a break for meal or sleep.

When I was living with Father Joe, he got a new PC. He being a Mac lover, I helped him with it... and proceeded to play through Fallout 1 and 2 only really breaking for naps. Later, back to living in Rockaway, I spent a Christmas vacation playing Tropico without leaving the condo. Every time a Sims expansion pack came out, I knew that meant another couple of weeks without sleep, exploring every single new option available.

So a few weeks ago, a student employee was working on his computer. The background was of a cartoon squat guy with a haircut like _sterno_ and a monocle. Didn't recognize it, questioned the kid. ``Oh, it's for Evil Genius. You know, that game that came out last fall? Kind of like a spy version of Dungeon Keeper?''

I should have ran away screaming. I should have gotten rid of those short term memories. Something compared to Dungeon Keeper, my greatest addiction. Sure, cybersphere kept me up until six in the morning for weeks on end, but it never kept me playing for over thirty-two hours straight. But I tried the demo, and was downloading a pirated copy after ordering a legit copy within minutes. Austin Powers mixed with Dungeon Keeper? I'm glad I didn't hear about it until all of my assignments were turned in.

At this point I'm regularly up until four in the morning playing it. Two hours before that, I start telling myself that I need to go to bed. Every time I blink, another hour passes. Jade Empire sits, unopened, next to my poor Xbox.

I could have beaten it ages ago. But I want every single item researched, and the research system requires that my scientists walk around like curious clueless toddlers putting things in their chubby mouths. And I want my evil base to be as perfect as possible. Research items in the far-off reaches, but the research information repository there. An outer layer of innocent looking items available from a number of disguised entry points, then one central trap-laden twisty passage that leads to the inner fortress. People can drop off corpses there, or from the room right next to the interrogation devices, but leave the devices near a central courtyard to let henchmen witness the torture. All of my stolen loot is arrayed to maximize benefits to my little minions as they walk through large courtyards filled with priceless objects they've stolen from me in the past. A series of gyms, eateries, and the like both inside and outside. Complexes of topside shacks that will attract the forces of good, letting them waste their time with harmless locked doors leading to nothing but a series of pop-up cutouts that will confuse them. A back entrance that doesn't lead to my base, but instead to a nightmarish maze of death, where even my hirelings are forbidden to go. A door that leads to nothing, but has guards stationed outside of it, to automatically cuff and nab any agents who make it too far inside. Huge power plants on the outer edge, filling up available space.

And it seems I'm not the only one.

Someone, please, lock me up.

Yay for jennifriendfoodfriday. jennifriend moved to the_boke this week.

What are people doing this weekend?
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