May 4th, 2004

Symp4Devil Sinfest by knightsdawn

An open letter to the driver of the black SUV

Fuck you, driver of the black SUV on 4th between Clinton and Grand.

No really, fuck you.

Did you flip me the bird because I impeded your process when I pulled over to the left side of the road? Doubtful, because I certainly gave you enough room to pass me on the right. Unless, of course, you were riding my ass. I don't remember if you were, but if you were, watch it asshat.

Did you flip me the bird because I stole the precious available spot? If so, you're a fucking blind inbred moron, because my car barely fit. My little mid-sized is wedged in there, giving the person in front eight inches, my tired just barely not touching the yellow line. You couldn't have fit in unless you parked sideways, blocking traffic down the wide lane.

So, in conclusion, fuck you. Where is the love? Instead, you should have given me a thumbs up. I, a citizen of Hoboken, managed to find a spot less than one hundred feet from my front door. In a town where a spot three blocks away is bragged about, this was a sweet find. You should have rotated your fist forward ninety degrees, put that middle finger away, and jutted out your thumb. ``Bravo, kingfox! Bravo!'' you should have exclaimed from your black steel mountain.

I hope strong winds roll you off a highway, leaving your corpse for maggots to eat your eyes. Good times.

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Now, off to kill things online. Good times.