September 13th, 2002

Dark

A weekend warrior lately, a weekend warrior sometimes, a weekend warrior..

...maybe you ain't that way anymore.

Wednesday, after work, went to White Castle with caniswolfie, windexcowboy, and redvector. I finally had the surf and turf there. Having been an addict of the rat burger for ages, it's amazing I never dared the selection before.

redvector agreed to get me a tunafish sandwich on his way back from a network shift, and caniswolfie mentioned that he was going to the gleaming white palace of grease. After walking around drewuniversity for some time with him, searching for the tuna and laptop redvector had, I got convinced into going for some yummy nasty burgers. Many a night in high school and college ended with a stop at White Castle at four or five in the morning. How I had missed the place. It usually involved Pete, who would get clam strips. Yeah, well, this is the man who drank transmission fluid and ate something the Japanese warned CAN not eat (as opposed to their usual warning label, DO not eat). ``Well, I proved them wrong!''

The surf and turf is the most expensive single item on the menu. As it should be, based on fine restaurants and Jersey diners. The actual concoction consists of a bottom bun, a burger, a large fish patty, a middle bun, a top burger, and a top bun. Basically, it's a double hamburger or cheeseburger with a fish patty wedged in the middle. Disturbing. However, I ate that two days ago and am still alive. I guess eating it was just one of them ``cries for help'' acts.

Spent yesterday sleeping, staring at the wall morosely, playing Tropico, and doing laundry. It was good to retreat back into my shell, and hammer away at my ego with a ball peen hammer for a bit. I'm still nowhere near happy, but at least I was able to control my emotions until around 3:54:45 PM today, despite the events of 2:31:05 PM. I'll try to stay out of that teen angst pit of despair line of prepackaged dark morose ``no one understands'' line of thinking. That was all well and good when I was thirteen. I was a late bloomer, and clung till it until the age of sixteen, I'd like to think I'm past that. People do understand, despite having a subjective reality, just never the people who need to understand.

aaronkliger, hiphopatcong, Pete, Luke, Manu, and Luke's woman were enjoying last night's street fair on the streets of New York, they gave me a call from the fun, and Pete wanted to hang out with me tonight. I should be leaving shortly to do as such. I'd drown my sorrows, but I have to get to EB by 1:30 tomorrow.
  • Current Music
    Marillion, Paper Lies
Sea

It's amazing...

...how you can sit at a console capable of transmitting your words into three dozen heads at once, yet feel alone.
...how you can have six dozen ``buddies'' online yet sit in silence.
...how aaronkliger can forget he expressed interest in hanging out with Pete and I tonight while drunk and make other plans while sober. Ok, scratch that, that's not amazing.
...how your own little petty problems and concerns can seem so small when looking at your friends, realizing that you haven't been fingerprinted and arrested, and that you would do anything in your power to help them with their serious problems that can profoundly damage their lives.
...how you can spend two years with someone, and then have a few minutes on the phone be so incredibly strained and painful.
...how much guarana I consume a day lately.
  • Current Music
    Marillion, The Hollow Man [Accoustic]