June 10th, 2002



Thursday Aaron and I drove to Lewisburg, PA.

My sweetheart lived there for two years. She was miserable. She had a jerk boss that destroyed her, and was a city girl stuck in the cornfields with few friends and nothing around. She went insane putting up with it. When we got involved I visited, well actually for most of the time I was borrowing her car, and I enjoyed going there. But we viewed it in a different way. For me it was two hours through amazing forested hills each way, getting to spend a weekend alone with someone I love, just enjoying the scenic quiet time away. For her it was her around-the-clock miserable prison, with me being her conjugal visitor.

But not all of PA was bad, or so I tried to convince her. So we went to PA, and I brought her back some carrot cake from her favorite coffee shop, a Wal-Mart yellow smiley face volleyball, baked lima beans and baked macaroni and cheese from her favorite place, Purity chocolate-covered pretzels, a rosemary plant, a panda pez dispenser, a book on Amish women, a PA shot glass (if you're here you need it), a shirt from her favorite bar, all sorts of little mementos trying to show her there were some good parts.

Gave them all to her on Friday. I think she'd have liked them more if she wasn't worried the day before, hating surprises and not knowing where I was.

It was a great trip with Aaron, driving, talking, listening to music.... I really enjoyed the chance to spend some time with him just chatting. I'm glad he's back in the area, I missed him.

We were in a head shop in Lewisburg when the town went down. The entire town's electricity. The shop employee was working on a computer, and cursed as he lost all of his work. We stumbled out through the darkness, and found the whole town was in the same shape. Stop lights were off, ATMs were off, we had to pretty much pack up and leave the town. We waited a while, walking about hoping it would be restored, but no dice.

I miss those trips, but I'm so happy for my sweetie that she's out of there and back in civilization, for her sanity's sake.

My weekend was fine and uneventful otherwise. Did some lawn work over her place on Saturday, worked at EB on Sunday, nothing amazing.

The only amazing thing going on is Incog's work on CS. The guy's coded up a critical hit system, limb replacement, limb loss/damage, replacement cyberlimbs, a few dozen cyberlimb implants from weaponry to vehicle repair tool kits, all sorts of crap..... in a week. He's just mind blowing. The whole game's changed on a fundamental level, become much more detailed, and he hasn't broken a virtual sweat.

Speaking of 'virt'-'ual', just finished Vurt last week. Amazing book.

When Aaron and I were driving through Danville heading to 80, he joked about just turning to San Francisco. Part of me wanted to go with the urge, to just head out west. Bah. I love my friends, sweetheart, material possessions, and such too much to just do that.
  • Current Music
    AC hum

Great minds think alike, and other randomness....

Turns out my sweetie's cousin guessed what I was doing correctly.

An old friend of my mother and first stepfather died, I got an e-mail from an old college friend of my first stepfather notifying me. The old friend, incidentally, was one of my biggest idols in my young impressionable youth, before I moved on to different idols or role-models. He got me into coding, he got me into computer games, he got me into thinking creatively about computers and pulling software apart to make it do what I want it to. He tried to get me to break into a game before I could play it, and other learning exercises. I wouldn't be the geek/coder/thinker I am today if it wasn't for him, even though he was just some guy renting a room in my home for a while. He got me into Big Trouble in Little China, Mad Max, and was just as big an influence on my brother.

My mother/first stepfather used to game with this couple, I'd end up hanging out with their kid often, or gaming with them...... They went to renfairs together, etc. They drifted apart, but their son continued in my life as being the person who hit on every woman I slept with from his hometown. Every time I slept with a Metuchenite, they later talked about this guy chasing them and begging them.

The mother/wife who died, I knew her well from the age of nine or ten until the age of thirteen. I mostly remember staying in their mobile home in the woods that they kept for summer weekends, and how their relationship with my parents fell apart, and how her husband almost killed his son when he got a sword from my parents. A bunch of the D&Ders put the sword in a big 'stone' of styrofoam, and had everyone 'try' to get it out, whoever got it out would win, letting him win so he'd get a claymore he wanted. He was so excited, he almost beheaded his son. My mom/first stepfather got involved with a self-help style group that aforementioned role-model's girlfriend worked for, and I even participated in one of the events. Around that time the family drifted from mine, me hearing from their kid the horrible things they were saying about the program to their son. I remember thinking they were narrow-minded and foolish, even back then, for thinking that a self-help group that was getting my mother to take control of her life was such a horrible evil duplicitous organization. It made them happy, they weren't shaving their heads and hanging out in airports, what was the harm?

I'd feel wierd attending. I mean, "Hi, I'm the asshole kid that hasn't talked to any of you, child of the people who either A) ran off to Montana or B) ran off to New Hope to become a phone-less hippy who never sees or contacts anyone, who's prospect of showing up at an event seems to be a running gag. I know my parents and her fought before she left my life, I know that your kid and I have exchanged violent words when last we spoke eight years ago, but hey, here's flowers."

Part of me just hates people like me... like the Christmas/Easter churchgoers, or the people that say "Hi!" and send flowers now that she's dead, instead of during the past year's battle with cancer that I just find out about now in the email. People like my dad, who only returned to his family after both of his parents died, me not knowing I had a set of living paternal grandparents until their funerals. People that are fairweather relatives/friends, which lately I've been to an amazing extreme. I've been a big bastard in that regard, keeping distance from all family after one family member betrays me by passing private information to another family member. Maybe if I had kept in better contact with people, I'd have known about her battle with cancer, I'd have known a bit more about things..... maybe. But who do I stay in contact with? My first stepfather has no phone and doesn't stay in contact with any of these people. They invite me to camp and RenFair with them, but I've been unable to go every summer due to work or finances or transportation or other silly little details. And it's not like my sweetie would partake of that part of my old life.

Oddly enough, the night of the memorial service one of the people their son tried to bed whose virginity I took, much to his bitterness, is staying over my place. She's an old fuckbuddy and now dear friend. Small world after all.
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    morose morose