First of all, I'd like to say that Roselle Park, the store you're competing with, is in NORTHERN NJ, a place full of hicks and emptiness. Roselle Park is a small town near Elizabeth and Newark, which is full of deviants. In fact, literally every person I know from Roselle Park is either a kinky child molester, a frustrated ugly bisexual, or an unsuccesful normal shy child molester. And they all call BBS's. See, in Central and Southern Jersey, the deviants are spread out evenly, and stick together on BBS's, letting the normals run their lives. Oh, and
Ok, I'm here, happy now?
And I am setting the slate clear, once and for all as far as who posted what, and when. I was, in fact, the first post from Lord Minty, as well as the third post. The second, though they got the story right, was not my doing. I was also Isaac the cat. Isaac is one of my sister in law's two cats. The only reason I posted as him was to give myself a virtual bookmark in the guestbook. Well, I also did the Andrew Steiner post, and the first post from myself. The post in May was not written by my white ass, though
I've talked with all three of my roomies next year,
I still recommend No Disentegrations to all my friends.
Why? Why? Because of the libelous comments made about someone who means so much to me. And the fact that the storyteller (alleged storyteller, fine) denied any knowledge of said story RIGHT TO MY FACE back at Drew, and his former roomie Bob sat there and denied as well. Later Adam whispered something about it. So, all these people knew, and then lied to my face. But, then, months later,
I have no quarrel with
Who knows, maybe you can change, grow up, and mature, as I'm trying to do this summer. Who knows. But for a long time, I don't think so. I can only hope. Best of luck.
And Jodi, sorry about "minty"'s comments about Drew. One of his friends at a party once with
Goodnight guestbook denziens from the beyond.
Oh, and if
Lord Min I mean
Well,
As far as
Remember how the whole housing thing started?
The whole
-
Well, thank you
Fri Jul 25 15:38:30 1997 wrote...
What would be something celebrity-worthy? Constructing a Win95 Feff World theme? Imagine it..
Sorry to hear that you and
Oh Jodi, I forgot, you're living in the Spirituality Theme House (the home of Glenn Alperin). I'm sure you'll have fun there. I wonder where Holloway Second is living, and will we start calling him by his new floor? If not, people will get even more confused.
Also, I hope the Beach is finally fixed. It'll be nice to sit out on the Beach on a warm summer night, air-popped popcorn in a bowl, iced tea made
Later Drewids and non-Drewids alike,
Mon Jul 28 2:16:16 1997 wrote...
Wow, here's something scary from the Kevin Bacon Oracle:
The Oracle says:
Jeremy, Ron has a Bacon number of 2:
Jeremy, Ron was in Meet Wally Sparks (1997) with Reynolds, Burt
Reynolds, Burt was in Starting Over (1979) with Bacon, Kevin
That puts it all in perspective, eh?
Wed Jul 30 4:17:20 1997 wrote...
Question "Pimp"
Wow, what a day. Feff, the Feffmeister, the Fefferoo himself posts. Twice, no less. And not some
In other news, I start tomorrow (hopefully) working at some Estate Planning place in whatever town is north of Daly City. I'm going to help computerize their office, and run the phones. Hey, I need the spare change. But, again, I'm amazed at how everyone out here is SO DAMNED politically correct. Every last one of them. And casual. The boss is called, "Johnny!" Yeah, that's normal for a corporate estate planner, that's something I'll put on my business card. In the eastern cities, people wear ties, do business 24/7, and refer to each other by their last names. Out here, people go tieless, and often casual for thursday and friday. The city that never sleeps? Bah, that's NYC, here the financial market area is shut down and dead by 6. And no business, repeat, no business gets done on a Friday. And everyone's on a first name basis with everyone else.
I love the neighborhoods here. I'm living in San Francisco's SoMa region, kinda like a trendy warehouses gone yuppie place like TriBeCa or SoHo in it's early days. Chinatown's right near here. So is Castro, which is commented on in my guide as a, "nice neighborhood, containing a lively affluent gay community." If
Well, I'm boring you all with details of a city far far away from Hopatcong, or Jersey for that matter.
Miss you all.. sleepless in San Francisco, where they actually DO HAVE Rice-A-Roni commercials on TV. It was the tackiest and scariest thing, when I saw a Rice-A-Roni advertisement on the back of a trolley car.
Fri Aug 1 12:45:12 1997 wrote...
I'm late for work, but let me just say that after nominating
Late for work, and my hair tie is possessed and the cats hate my robe.
Tue Aug 19 13:28:49 1997 wrote...
Much like the famed bar, Cheers. Bah, what about the famed former BBS and ISP Cheers? Which spawned Cheersoft.com? That's something to compare this guestbook too, only less of a crowd. Cheers was the place where I first got to know Lord Minty (even though I went to school with him), the place where
Anyway, I can't wait for September First either.
Later l-m-n-o-p-chodes,
Wed Aug 20 22:16:49 1997 wrote...
Well, it shall be an exciting next few days, considering my sweetie arrives tomorrow and we'll be going to one of the few boardwalks better than Jersey's best. It's a real fun place.
Anyway, check out the latest Cruel Site of the Day, it's pretty funny today.
I motion that Holloway 2nd be called Holloway 2nd, no matter where he may reside for the next three (more or less) years at Drew University.
As far as the Anatomy of an All-Nighter whack, I feel your pain
Later choformers and chocepticons. Be good.
Thu Aug 21 1:47:58 1997 wrote...
Well,
I was also the poster in Holroyd's page, the poster in Pastena's page, and the poster in Quicksand's page. Oh, yeah, Dan Kahn's page too. All of those posts contain links here, and have my name signed in the usual
And you still haven't replied to my e-mails, young Mr.
Later big and little brothers and sisters alike,
Thu Sep 11 10:37:31 1997 wrote...
As for the fake Harry poster, I won't point any fingers, but who aroud here frequently includes random links in their posts? Just an idea.
Good guess
If anyone should be suspected of being Jamie Green, it should be me. I have the same initials, and a lot of e-mail accounts. Whenever America's Most Wanted posts the aliases of their fugitives, they're always the same initials as their real names.
Of course they do, otherwise they'd have to re-order the monogrammed gun and shoulder holster set, and the monogrammed luggage thrown in their trunk as they run cross-country.
I polled the following seven
Piss on you, blasphemous liar! I rendered a decision, and told you exactly what I thought you should do,
One last thing: anyone ever notice that
Yes, I have noticed. And that's one of the (few) things I appriciate and admire about you
Later choad lovers,
Whack Archive Daemon on...
Fri Sep 12 14:40:02 1997 wrote...
Number 6: Russell Sprague - The first of my Drew friends to discover the guestbook, and the first person I know of who made a link directly to the guestbook. His posts are always verbose, always meaningful, and always controversial. A Russ post always adds some spice; he doesn't debate over who is a celebrity, he just is one.So, being that
Just took my first Calc. Exam. Kinda pointless, after two years of calc in St. Joe's, and a semester of post-calc last year, taking two semesters of calc is just silly. Well, the Computer Science major here at Drew is screwey. I mean, c'mon, I can be a Comp. Sci. AND Math major for the same number of credits and classes as becoming a plain old Computer Science Major. What gives? That's misleading to future schools and employers, getting a dual major for the price of a regular BS. If I wasn't so bored with higher-level math, I'd do it in a heartbeat. In fact, I might just do it anyway. That'll make me a triple major with an extra minor. A major crack-smoker indeed, just for the courseload of a standard dual major (Business Management and Economics overlap like hell, like Math and Comp. Sci.).
Whoops, overly-long overly-personal post, an
Off to sleep,
Fri Sep 12 15:22:57 1997 wrote...
I think I fake-posted his guestbook pretty early. As soon as the archive goes back on-line, we'll see. If that day ever comes. That day will probably be the day that the next whack goes up, that the weekly whack menu changes to whack menu, and hell freezes over (sorry
Amazing that you've posted three times since my post (who knows, you could be posting a fourth or fifth time as I write this, who knows), I sincerely worry about your free time
We should do an award ceremony here in Welch 110, for Drew's worst web page. I've seen some pretty basic ones. I wonder if "The voice of Drew University"'s page is still up. It was a really crappy page, all on one BIG page, full of graphics from a members.aol.com account, meaning that the whole monstrosity took ages to load, even over a good ISP.
Then again, why am I telling this to the guestbook community. It's a Drew reference, and therefore apparently inheritly evil.
Later Clam-choaders,
Tue Sep 23 8:35:17 1997 wrote...
Regarding Wyk's commentary about getting laid more than any of us old folks. I, as those of you who know me would guess, object. Strongly. Wyk, if you're willing to come up with some actual numbers, names, and phone numbers (in your case, e-mail addresses), then back off. I had some regretful shitty years of "sowing my oats", and look back on them with a mixture of disgust and pride. Mostly disgust, due to the shallow, cheap, manipulatory nature of 90% of these encounters.
So, you get your little wanker dipped more than a bunch of guys sitting around reading the guestbook 4 or 5 times (at least) a day. This says what about you? Obviously, not much. Oh, and I did the girlfriend standing naked behind me gotta go post in my day, and it brought a teary memory back to me. Only I was doing it on a 2400 baud BBS, back in '93. It was degrading and tacky back then, and with the cosmic virus-like spread of the internet, it's even more so.
Oh, and Wyk: those metal bead necklaces are about as distinctive and unique as wearing a slap bracelet 6 or 7 years ago. Get an identity.
One thing I do have to respect you for, however, is your choice in religions. Hail Bob!
Back to the getting some arguement, I do have to give you credit for managing to get laid often (assuming you're not just making a childish boast) while not allowed on the phone after 10. Most of my social engineering and steamy conversations lasted till 3 or so, it would be hard to work within such constraints.
Speaking of Social Engineering, I think it's time for a new controversy.
Back to lurking for another week or two,
Tue Sep 23 23:33:44 1997 wrote...
Hey, Wyk me boy, you do not hold a position higher than me or
Regarding Pineapple Soda: It's good once a month maybe, but more than that and it rots my soul. I seriously think we should take a picture of
Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, artificial flavor, sodium benzoate, gum acacia, ester gum, brominate vegetable oil, and artificial colors (Yellow #5 and #6).
Sparkling HOFFMAN Pineapple soda artificially flavored
Ok, so I guess that answers that debate. Pineapple soda is soda by all logical and reasonable means, but is in no way pineapple. So any such allergy would either be psychosematic :-) or a bad reaction to ester gum. And yet another debate is settled: it IS a citrus drink, despite the fact that pineapple is a tropical fruit, due to the citric acid found in the soda. So citrus-soda haters can hate pineapple soda logically. Don't feel that you have to change your constitution to add tropical fruits. Besides, I don't approve of such wishy-washiness.
Got back from an awesome computer convention/conference type thing in the Hilton in Manhatten. Good deal. So
Later Clam Choaders,
Mon Oct 13 1:02:47 1997 wrote...
Fuck that shit!
Fuck that shit!
Wyk most prolific poster here?
Fuck that shit!
Fuck that shit!
Fuck that shit!
Fuck that shit!
Fuck that shit!
Fuck you bitch!
Sun Oct 26 16:38:41 1997 wrote...
I'm glad to see that controversy, diagreement, and miscommunication are all still the order of the day at Feff's Guestbook o' laughs. Now if only we could get a whack up. Then again,
Wyk, you disturb me insofar as your resemblence in attitudes and actions to a version of me that almost occured years ago. Fortunately, I grew up and found other ways to use my energies and feelings. But yes, alot of your pathetic experiences, attitudes, and feelings disturb a chord deep within my cockels. Your web page, with a touch of death, depression, and fire, would resemble the place I created long ago, my micro-generation's version of a web page, the personal BBS.

Like my favorite group, BBS's are past their prime, mere has-beens.....
p.s. funny how a certain person hasn't posted in a while....
Tue Nov 4 12:31:01 1997 wrote...
Can't find your way around a UNIX shell? Noel, I'm disappointed in you. C'mon, UNIX isn't THAT hard, alien, or foreign. Anyway, I'd just like to plug
And
Date: Fri Nov 14 14:48:52 1997
Subject: RE: ARCHIVES
Realistically speaking, what archives remain available, and what archives are lost forever into the miasma that is the internet? I remember a decent archive on
Sorry I've been away, but I've had some medical problems, and unlike
Hopefully, I can return to the Guestbook.
Dammit I HATE this fucking format, so that we have to go back up and down trying to find what posts are new and what aren't. And, I'd greatly prefer it if new posts were added to the bottom. That's how most bulletin board type systems work, and it's the most logical procedure. Then again, looking at how lazy those of you that I know on here are, it'll never happen. Nice to see that replies get sorted logically, too bad to see that nothing else is.. "But I don't want to have to scroll all the way to the bottom just to see if there's new messages, it's easier this way!" -
Well, I know that request will never be completed, so I'll have to stay away from here until I can find time between work and classes to bother sorting through all the replies and reverse-posting garbage with sexual definitions and such crap.
Later clam choaders,
Date: Mon Nov 24 11:11:55 1997
Subject: You bring the noise, I'll bring the funk!
It really disturbs me to see the guestbook decended so low. The last series of fakeposts are even below mine. Even my "Isaac is a big smelly cat!" post was in better taste then some of them. Though I did like the "bug found in Wyk's ass", and commend the person who I know did it. As for the state of the guestbook itself, I still don't like this format, though I plan on catching up on it over January. I'll be living in a newer dorm, and have a graphical browser for once. Unfortunately, all my replies will be down throughout the list of posts, and noone will bother reading that far down to check for new posts, so I'll be wasting my ever-so-precious time anyway. Such is the testicular cancer, I mean irony, of life.
Later clam choaders,
P.S. For what the Towel-clad punk did, He really did deserve #1 for a day, even if he will be a fool for a lifetime (sorry, album reference and inside joke tossed in a blender and shaken by an epileptic).
Date: Sat Nov 29 21:54:22 1997
Subject: I for one, like Thanksgiving
Hey, mock me and flame me all you want you socially inept cyber-clique banana-loving freaks, but I love Thanksgiving. Not just for the food and family, but for the meaning behind it. We're pretty lucky, and we have the ability to slaughter animals en masse to feaste on their baked flesh, gnawing on their bones with our molars. That's the meaning of Thanksgiving. We're not some poor disease-infested third-world citizens selling cow manure (seriously, this happens) for food. We're a country that has done well for itself, and can afford such displays of stability. We can affort to have our financial markets close at 1 PM the day after Thanksgiving. We can afford to slaughter tons of dumb flightless fowl. For these reasons, and more, we should be glad to have Thanksgiving. Hope you all had good Thanksgivings, guestbook lurker, celebrities, losers, and clam choaders.
Date: Mon Dec 1 11:46:12 1997
Subject: RE: RE: Message load limit
I suggest a 100 message limit. And hey, I sometimes do look down that far just to make sure I don't miss anything.
I still can't believe
Date: Wed Dec 3 11:40:45 1997
Subject: RE: RE: now 100 messages
Thanks
By the way, at 2:30, I'm going to be playing that game again. Then I work, come back, and play it again. Sigh. It really is a great game, with a sadistic slant to it. Anyway, I'm late for an interview.
Guestbook E-Mail Daemon
Date: Thu Dec 4 0:20:56 1997
Subject: Guestbook Breaking News
Some geek HTML monkey uttered the following out of his bad end:
HEY FUCK YOU
So I, in my infinate wisdom, respond with the following:
Hey Mr.
Fuck, even in your computer domain you are crap. Got any new mindfumes up? Got that remote on your web page working yet? Thought not. Bother getting whacks up on time? Not really. You sicken me. Oh yeah, you're so busy with all those web design jobs coming in. How come I don't see any other credentials of yours? Cause noone else wants your crap? Thought so. You couldn't even be bothered updating or working on the ONE page you did assume responsibility of UNTIL
Every one on the guestbook kisses your pimply geeky ass because your graphics are well done. You're no Picasso, but I give you that much. Your programming, well, it's been equated to a monkey before, and I think that's fairly accurate. That's right, I said the phrase that caused you to fuck with Wyk you fascist censor: HTML MONKEY!
I love how the Archives get lost for so long, still parts are missing, and how lax you are in posting them. It took me to threaten you with a libel suit just for you to bother to do something.
I've been nice to you, and talked with you, and gotten nothing but cold responses in return. Out of fucking left field, in the hickville area where you live and have Cindy Souza breaking your bleeding loser heart (pathetic bastard), you come up with this sudden burst of animosity. I've always respected your art, and acted civily to you, and get paid back with this. Guess what
Prepare for revenge,
Date: Thu Dec 4 17:00:11 1997
Subject: Reply to
> Hey
> mighty just because you can come up with a decent graphic or two. Oooh, I
> know HTML, I know CGI, yeah so does every other penis-lick with a computer,
> internet access, and half a brain cell.
Well, first off, as I just said their is no animosity, I was just joking. As far as me being all "high and mighty"... well, I'll talk more about that in a sec....
> Fuck, even in your computer domain you are crap. Got any new mindfumes up?
> Got that remote on your web page working yet? Thought not.
Well, I haven't done any work on my site in a long time... frankly, I didn't know that anybody actually read my mindfumes or was waiting for new ones. If I had known this, I would certainly have written more. Actually I take notes all the time and so I have plenty of material for MindFumes, but I have not received one single email worth of feedback on them so I haven't really thought much about updating them. As far as the broken remote control, I plan on revamping that whole section of my site over winter break.
> Bother getting whacks up on time? Not really.
I've been pretty bad with the whacks, but I have gotten the last few up on time and I plan on continuing this trend. If I do slack off though you can call me on it.
> Oh yeah, you're so busy with all those web design jobs coming in. How come I
> don't see any other credentials of yours? Cause noone else wants your crap? Thought so.
Well, my only credentials are what you can see on the sites I've designed. I've had plans to market myself as a freelance web designer for a long time, I've just never done it for whatever reason. I am, however, currently employed by Merck as a web designer but I work on their Intranet so you can't see the work I do there.
> I still think
Really? Well why don't you start up a petition and see how many signatures you can get, starting with
> That's right, I said the phrase that caused you to fuck with Wyk you fascist
> censor: HTML MONKEY!
> One second "Feff's World, we support free speech!" Well maybe
> fellow Libertarian, does, but you're another story. You anal mother fucking
> freak, you don't like someone's comment about you, so you device a means to
> counter them. That goes against EVERYTHING the guestbook stand for, but
> you're the oh-so-mighty fucking diety
Ok, I think this is where I have to credit
> I love how the Archives get lost for so long, still parts are missing, and how
> lax you are in posting them.
> Thus, there is a mysterious two-week-long missing gap that just happens to coincide with my
> virgin post to the guestbook. My theory:
> the punch, which in fact he didn't.
> Where will Big Brother
Ok, I may have fucked with Wyk's post but I did NOT fuck with the archives. I have no clue why that gap is there, all I know is I had to scan my hard drive for those archive files, I did not organize them. The really old one, dating back to February, I found at the last minute and was shocked it even existed. It was not even an official guestbook, just a raw copy of the message data file. I must have copied it from the server one day as a backup because back then the message data file would get erased all the time for no reason (it has no owner and can be deleted by anybody on the GTI system). The rest of the really old stuff was deleted one day because Armando posted a huge text file to the guestbook fucking it up and for some reason I deleted it. Keep in mind that back in those days nobody but me cared about the guestbook because nobody posted it to it regularly. I just read it to keep abreast of what people visiting Feff World had to say about our site. So, I really didn't think about "archiving" and so I didn't do it, and so when the data file got erased I had no backup.
> Out of fucking left field, in the hickville area where you live
I live in Hickville? Not exactly... there are no farms out here. Somerset County is one of the most heavily developed non-urban counties in NJ. The farms are out in HUNTERDON, the adjacent county.
> and have Cindy Souza breaking your bleeding loser heart (pathetic bastard)
OOOOH, LOW BLOW! I take it you are referring to that one piece in my gallery, eh? I guess this is what happens when you put your emotions out on your web page, risk having people spit them back in your face... HEHEHE I kind of like it :)
> I've always respected your art, and acted civily to you, and get paid back with this.
> Guess what
> Prepare for revenge,
I'm sorry you misunderstood it when I was joking with you. I guess I didn't make it clear I was being sarcastic. I'm also sorry I credited
Once again, I'm sorry, I hope we can come to a truce here, I do not wish to have any sort of war with you,
reeling,
Date: Sun Dec 14 14:29:21 1997
Subject: Don'tCallItAComeback,I'veBeenHereForYear
Sorry for the absense, I can attribute a variety of reasons for my self-imposed holiday from the marvelous
Now, regarding the guestbook itself, fuck you
I mourn the loss of
I must now finish my paper on how FDR's Civilian Conservation Corps was actually a Quazi-Nazi stormtrooper training program.
Two points:
Anyway, I think that's about it for this post. Expect me to post often now that finals are drawing to a close, and expect my interviews/pix/etc. up over the January Experience (or the period of time formerly known as JanTerm). I'll be living with Bob the Jedi Master and Jaaaaaaaaames Winans over the period, and might even try to get them to post. We'll see.
Later clam choaders,
And, as a bonus bit,
Date: Thu Dec 11 20:58:17 1997
Subject: Will - Who Cares if you Read it? Not Me.
Yeah, yeah, this is closure. I don't give a flying fuck if anyone reads it. This is just for me.
I leave this guestbook with a bad taste in my mouth. First, I am made to feel very very different (something I hate) and very very wrong (something I hate even more) by a religious discussion and by a person who did not think before he wrote (something I've admittedly done).
Then, shortly thereafter, proposals for a new Feff World government were heard. With the exception of
And then
I would like to thank some people who have been supportive of me and haven't been completely immature. I think Wyk should get my celebrity spot. He's been wise beyond his years, and I would want
I know that I will get some e-mails asking me why I'm doing this, and why leave when there's so much to be done. But I've made my decision, and I hope you all understand it. I know I've come back before, just as I have left before, but that was when there was something worth coming back to. That is not the case now, and I don't see it happening in the near future.
Man, that brings me back. I'll re-read it all some time later.