☞Wasteland Warlock☜ (kingfox) wrote,
☞Wasteland Warlock☜
kingfox

An open letter to the driver of the black SUV

Fuck you, driver of the black SUV on 4th between Clinton and Grand.

No really, fuck you.

Did you flip me the bird because I impeded your process when I pulled over to the left side of the road? Doubtful, because I certainly gave you enough room to pass me on the right. Unless, of course, you were riding my ass. I don't remember if you were, but if you were, watch it asshat.

Did you flip me the bird because I stole the precious available spot? If so, you're a fucking blind inbred moron, because my car barely fit. My little mid-sized is wedged in there, giving the person in front eight inches, my tired just barely not touching the yellow line. You couldn't have fit in unless you parked sideways, blocking traffic down the wide lane.

So, in conclusion, fuck you. Where is the love? Instead, you should have given me a thumbs up. I, a citizen of Hoboken, managed to find a spot less than one hundred feet from my front door. In a town where a spot three blocks away is bragged about, this was a sweet find. You should have rotated your fist forward ninety degrees, put that middle finger away, and jutted out your thumb. ``Bravo, kingfox! Bravo!'' you should have exclaimed from your black steel mountain.

I hope strong winds roll you off a highway, leaving your corpse for maggots to eat your eyes. Good times.

Running low on my favorite Bath and Body Works men's shower gel, I decided to swing by the Livingston Mall. I could have hit the Newport Centre, but I preferred to swing out of my way and enjoy the weather instead of just going home and hitting the local place. The weather was begging for it, and jenniever was recommending it.

I ended up taking 510 all over the place. From it being Columbia Turnpike in Florham Park to South Orange Avenue in Livingston, South Orange, and Newark. Then I took it as Market on through up to 1&9, where I eventually merged on to my normal route just before the Holland Tunnel. It was a great ride, not my usual highways looking at Manhattan in the distance. Got to drive through the South Mountain Reservation, through downtown South Orange, past another ThinkPad University, Seton Hall University, where jenniever and I had just been recently. Got to drive past Pirate's Pizza, where kikibird should go for pizza. Got to drive through the revitalized downtown of the car jacking capital of the world, Newark. Got to drive through the Ironbound section, where my father used to take us for amazing Italian in my youth. It was a lovely mix of forest, suburbia, corporate landscaping, industrial decay, crime-ridden urban blight under revitalization, hard working immigrant community, and more. Green, cracked concrete, and sometimes both at once.

As I've said, the Pulaski Skyway is a great road that takes me from just outside the Holland all the way to 78, bypassing the twisted industrial snarl below, and the decayed urban wasteland. I've heard many people jokingly refer to it as the white person's expressway, escorting them over areas where they would be afraid. It was fun driving through the sprawl that I drive over twice a day, going through the back roads and towering buildings that I haven't really been through since high school.

Now, off to kill things online. Good times.
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