Today mrfantasy let me know that my news vanity search is all sorts of lost for now. Some 51 year old guy with my first and last name (and similar middle name) has gotten busted by the FBI for selling movie screeners. Fucking hell. Now I'll never break through in Hollywood.
My car drama was resolved on Tuesday. jenniever drove me home, and we used her AAA to get my car towed to Sears exactly one mile away. The car jumped just fine, but turning on the lights shut it off. Without lights and staying in neutral, it ran the whole time to Sears on the back of the tow truck without stalling. Slapped a new battery in, and they tested the electrical system. The alternator, the thing I was worried about, was just fine. Just an old battery on its last legs killed by the cold. It's started beautifully ever since. jenniever is the greatest rockingist girlfriend, and totally saved my ass. She rules.
UPDATE: Yeah, I'm on /. now. Just great! This is hilarious.