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Purity tests - Virtual Sacrifice Log
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kingfox
kingfox
Purity tests
Back in middle school, I used to take the official usenet purity test. It made the rounds on the local BBS scene, and I was pretty amazed at how low the sickos got.

Then I started high school, and my score dropped like a rock. When I started college, I printed out a copy and had just about everyone on my floor take it. Nimel Theodore got the highest score on the floor, even beating the RHWB. ahansen got the lowest score on the floor, even beating my incredibly low score. My girlfriend at the time, chiquib was incredibly distressed by my low score. In fact, that low score would cause me to scare off many a woman later on in life. Ironically, this would lower the score and raise the number that frightened them off. Women would want to do things that I hadn't done before, and that would raise the former. So in my continuous quest to find miss right, I make it harder for more and more miss rights to handle being with me, not being as slick as Jesse Katsopolis.

I blame a crazy time with Valerie and johnstevensaul's parties for that 51.8%. And the 0%... wow... *sigh*

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
Self-Lovin'13.3%
I wouldn't shake hands, if I were you
65.1%
Shamelessness38.1%
Puts 'em on the glass
79.3%
Sex Drive 21.1%
Humps fire hydrants when nobody's looking
77.7%
Straightness0%
Knows the other body type like a map
45.1%
Gayness 51.8%
Had that experience at camp
83.2%
Fucking Sick67.3%
Dipped into depravity
89.9%
You are 35.04% pure
Average Score: 72.6%
</center>

Ah, Rusty, master of disaster.

Feeling: depressed depressed
Listening to: Full House

Chorus of 21 demons || Preach it
Comments
neenerface From: neenerface Date: November 18th, 2003 07:14 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

That 0 has to be wrong, I got it too

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
Self-Lovin'23.3%
I wouldn't shake hands, if I were you
65.1%
Shamelessness33.3%
Puts 'em on the glass
79.3%
Sex Drive 10.5%
Humps fire hydrants when nobody's looking
77.7%
Straightness0%
Knows the other body type like a map
45.1%
Gayness 30.4%
At least one weekend of ecstacy
83.2%
Fucking Sick63.7%
Dipped into depravity
89.9%
You are 31.71% pure
Average Score: 72.6%


From: petemagyar Date: November 18th, 2003 09:09 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: That 0 has to be wrong, I got it too

I actually object to the whole idea of a "purity test". Really kids are we in grade school or some shit like that.

Here is the way it is.

If you are a creative person, you are going to want to seek out creative sex and try news things.

Fuck on kittens!
kingfox From: kingfox Date: November 18th, 2003 10:12 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
"All the boys need to feel like they're Marco Fucking Polo when it comes to sex - like they’re the only ones who’ve ever explored new territory. And it’s hard not to let them believe it. I let my boys run with it for awhile - feed them some of that "I’ve never done this before..." bullshit, and let ‘em labor under the delusion that they rockin’ my world, until I can’t stand them anymore. Then I hit ‘em with the truth. It’s a sick game. The world would be a better place if people would just accept that there’s nothing new under the sun, and everything you can do with a person has probably been done long before you got there."
- Hooper X, Chasing Amy
neenerface From: neenerface Date: November 19th, 2003 07:03 am (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: That 0 has to be wrong, I got it too

That would make a mess i'm not willing to clean up.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: November 18th, 2003 10:08 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Hi!

Got your text message.

So, err, why must the 0% be wrong?

Hell, there's a few things I've done that I'm used to seeing in older purity tests that they left out.
From: petemagyar Date: November 18th, 2003 10:19 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: Hi!

"You called for love outside my door
An angel tells you
'There no more love for the Soft-Core'
Its time to wake up"
-Morel
neenerface From: neenerface Date: November 19th, 2003 07:02 am (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: Hi!

I know you get them :)

I read the whole test wrong, because I am a loser.

I thought it was awfully short.
miscca From: miscca Date: November 18th, 2003 10:14 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: That 0 has to be wrong, I got it too

The 0 is not wrong, it's measuring how pure you are. If you get it 100%, you're not pure :)
neenerface From: neenerface Date: November 18th, 2003 10:21 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: That 0 has to be wrong, I got it too

d'oh!
miscca From: miscca Date: November 18th, 2003 10:13 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Fear me.

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
Self-Lovin'31.7%
When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself
65.1%
Shamelessness54.8%
It takes a couple of drinks
79.3%
Sex Drive 21.1%
Humps fire hydrants when nobody's looking
77.7%
Straightness0%
Knows the other body type like a map
45.1%
Gayness 8.9%
Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame
83.2%
Fucking Sick51.3%
Dipped into depravity
89.9%
You are 29.92% pure
Average Score: 72.6%
kingfox From: kingfox Date: November 18th, 2003 10:29 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Damn!

Now that's a score.
lizzyfur From: lizzyfur Date: November 19th, 2003 07:20 am (UTC) (Hard link)
i was totally watching nick at night last night...and now i remember why we nicknamed my little brother the master of disaster...
kingfox From: kingfox Date: November 19th, 2003 08:39 am (UTC) (Hard link)

Heheheh

I was really frightened that I still remembered all of the pranks from that episode before the kid pulled a single one off.

There's a section of my brain dedicated to bad television memories. Maybe it'll save the world if I get frozen for a thousand years.
From: hiphopatcong Date: November 19th, 2003 01:21 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

I guess this is why I'm the Kidd.

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
Self-Lovin'46.7%
When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself
65.1%
Shamelessness88.1%
Has yet to see self in mirror
79.3%
Sex Drive 86.8%
The Pope is envious
77.7%
Straightness76.8%
Just go fuck something, okay?
45.1%
Gayness 98.2%
Repressed, are we?
83.2%
Fucking Sick96.5%
Refreshingly normal
89.9%
You are 81.59% pure
Average Score: 72.6%
kingfox From: kingfox Date: November 19th, 2003 11:45 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Hmmm

Though violettandblue is a Nimel for the LiveJournal Welch 1st.
jenniever From: jenniever Date: November 21st, 2003 09:38 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: Hmmm

I can't even tell you why i'm posting this. LiveJournal is evil evil evil.

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
Self-Lovin'38.3%
When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself
65.1%
Shamelessness52.4%
It takes a couple of drinks
79.3%
Sex Drive 47.4%
I got needs, baby, you gotta unnastan'!
77.7%
Straightness3.6%
Knows the other body type like a map
45.1%
Gayness 48.2%
At least one weekend of ecstacy
83.3%
Fucking Sick69.9%
Dipped into depravity
89.9%
You are 44.25% pure
Average Score: 72.6%



these sorts of things always make me nervous.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: November 21st, 2003 09:45 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: Hmmm

Your parents and local religious officials have been notified.

Based on the averages, I really wonder what vanilla groupset is mostly taking this test.
jenniever From: jenniever Date: November 21st, 2003 10:00 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: Hmmm

I could safely say most, if not all, my close friends are probably the ones throwing the averages off.

I felt kinda left out that I didn't get a zero percent on straightness. Everyone else did. Not that I'm going to do anything about it. But still. Oh, bother.

kingfox From: kingfox Date: November 22nd, 2003 12:05 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: Hmmm

If what it would take for you to get a zero is what it would take for my roomie to get a zero, you're not missing out on much.
jenniever From: jenniever Date: November 21st, 2003 10:07 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: Hmmm

Based on the averages, I really wonder what vanilla groupset is mostly taking this test.

wait wait wait...just think of the average boy that sits in his room and takes tests...well, and doesn't lie about it.

or was that just a riff on me? Should I be insulted? I'm not sure. This is kind of a weird thing to be instuled about. Maybe I should be proud? I'm not sure. Now I'm going to worry about how people percieve me for the remainder of the evening. way to go, Russ.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: November 22nd, 2003 12:08 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Re: Hmmm

You and allibear612 worry too much. That wasn't a riff on you, on them, on anyone. I don't even understand who I could be mocking. What's going on? Who is everyone?
Chorus of 21 demons || Preach it