Did I Mention That I Cried? (Pre-Divorce Remix)
Some of my earliest childhood memories involve drinking Perrier and feeding Cheerios to Siamese cats. One of them was killed by a burglar, the other died of loneliness soon afterwards.
I'm going to make bathing in lime Perrier my new angle, to cure me of my loneliness.
The burglar took my bottle of win! And earlier a bug got rid of my rifle and replaced it with a jelly donut!
My father's friends joked that they could tell I was his little yuppie son, as I loved Perrier as an infant.