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The game's tied, and I had my hands free to copy and paste like a madman... - Virtual Sacrifice Log
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kingfox
kingfox
The game's tied, and I had my hands free to copy and paste like a madman...
If you're not a reader of fridaypoll, you should either join the community or skip this post, unless you really like mad libs.

First, the soliloquies:

nme525's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to drink, -- that is the liquor;
Whether 'tis nobler in the beer to suffer
The slings and fans of awesome fortune,
Or to take friends against a sea of teammates,
And by running end them. To die, -- to play, --
No more; and by a play to say we end
The diamond and the 9000000000000000000000000000 natural shocks
That flesh is baseball player to,-- 'tis a field
hard to be wish'd. To die, --- to play,--
To play! perchance to hitting! ay, there's the ass;
For in that play of death what Yankee may come
When we have kicked off this rock coil,
Must give us Red Sox....

redvector's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to weep, -- that is the desire;
Whether 'tis nobler in the frock to suffer
The slings and addenda of fortuitous fortune,
Or to take seasons against a sea of reasons,
And by galloping end them. To die, -- to separate, --
No more; and by a separate to say we end
The integer and the 65536 natural shocks
That flesh is Earl to,-- 'tis a turkey
hungrily to be wish'd. To die, --- to separate,--
To separate! perchance to yodel! ay, there's the beef;
For in that separate of death what gerunds may come
When we have faced off this grainy coil,
Must give us burrito....

abmann (Who Likes To Capitalize)'s third soliloquy:
To be, or not to die, -- that is the actuary;
Whether 'tis nobler in the claymore mine to suffer
The slings and celtic knots of dumbest fortune,
Or to take skunks against a sea of assfingers,
And by vacating end them. To die, -- to croon, --
No more; and by a croon to say we end
The shoe horn and the googleplex natural shocks
That flesh is Poopsmith to,-- 'tis a angst
verily to be wish'd. To die, --- to croon,--
To croon! perchance to sloose! ay, there's the monkey;
For in that croon of death what ninja may come
When we have defenestrated off this butch coil,
Must give us juandice....

barswa's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to seduce, -- that is the jungle;
Whether 'tis nobler in the mission to suffer
The slings and contracts of pinkish fortune,
Or to take buttons against a sea of mice,
And by feeling end them. To die, -- to call, --
No more; and by a call to say we end
The balloon and the 342,245,809 natural shocks
That flesh is egg cracker to,-- 'tis a popsicle
quickly to be wish'd. To die, --- to call,--
To call! perchance to write! ay, there's the penquin;
For in that call of death what melons may come
When we have jumped off this official coil,
Must give us fox....

madolan's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to vivisect, -- that is the Wolverine action figure;
Whether 'tis nobler in the tenaculum to suffer
The slings and nuclear reactors of kingfoxian fortune,
Or to take dreams against a sea of flat-screen monitors,
And by suckling end them. To die, -- to accuse, --
No more; and by a accuse to say we end
The parasite and the eleventy-one natural shocks
That flesh is amateur poll-maker to,-- 'tis a assfinger
fruitlessly to be wish'd. To die, --- to accuse,--
To accuse! perchance to behead! ay, there's the menagerie;
For in that accuse of death what flanges may come
When we have galumphed off this fulfilling coil,
Must give us battery-operated eggbeater....

graye's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to debunk, -- that is the booty;
Whether 'tis nobler in the fallout to suffer
The slings and zeppelins of meaty fortune,
Or to take rabbis against a sea of tsunamis,
And by shocking end them. To die, -- to impregnate, --
No more; and by a impregnate to say we end
The sluggard and the 808,000 natural shocks
That flesh is ninja to,-- 'tis a pillbox
triumphantly to be wish'd. To die, --- to impregnate,--
To impregnate! perchance to gallivant! ay, there's the proletariat;
For in that impregnate of death what rickshaws may come
When we have capitulated off this umber coil,
Must give us percolator....

imjellobaby's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to swing, -- that is the television;
Whether 'tis nobler in the badminton racquet to suffer
The slings and bongos of slimy fortune,
Or to take internets against a sea of phones,
And by thinking end them. To die, -- to drive, --
No more; and by a drive to say we end
The beach and the bazillion natural shocks
That flesh is go-go dancer to,-- 'tis a ship
swimmingly to be wish'd. To die, --- to drive,--
To drive! perchance to thrusting! ay, there's the car;
For in that drive of death what beers may come
When we have ate off this red coil,
Must give us shoe....

assfingers's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to transmogrify, -- that is the bowling ball;
Whether 'tis nobler in the waffle iron to suffer
The slings and warts of smelly fortune,
Or to take Canadians against a sea of pitchforks,
And by boinking end them. To die, -- to spank, --
No more; and by a spank to say we end
The short-wave radio and the BILLIONS AND BILLIONS natural shocks
That flesh is basket weaver to,-- 'tis a underwear
zestfully to be wish'd. To die, --- to spank,--
To spank! perchance to postulate! ay, there's the spatula;
For in that spank of death what bulldozers may come
When we have barfed off this miniscule coil,
Must give us robot....

prozakia (the Other Mad Capitalizer)'s third soliloquy:
To be, or not to conceive, -- that is the San Franciso;
Whether 'tis nobler in the Catwoman to suffer
The slings and glasses of est fortune,
Or to take rocks against a sea of trees,
And by skating end them. To die, -- to fly, --
No more; and by a fly to say we end
The the Pope and the 989 natural shocks
That flesh is stripper to,-- 'tis a cloud
very to be wish'd. To die, --- to fly,--
To fly! perchance to kissing! ay, there's the snot;
For in that fly of death what churches may come
When we have kicked off this able coil,
Must give us grass....

adamgreeney's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to stab, -- that is the hobbit;
Whether 'tis nobler in the hieroglyph to suffer
The slings and pomagranetes of asinine fortune,
Or to take adultresses against a sea of jellybeans,
And by printing end them. To die, -- to run, --
No more; and by a run to say we end
The wooden box and the 84 natural shocks
That flesh is ninja to,-- 'tis a George Brett
joyously to be wish'd. To die, --- to run,--
To run! perchance to excavating! ay, there's the pyramid;
For in that run of death what shuttlecocks may come
When we have repatriated off this egregious coil,
Must give us port bow....

kingfox's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to affix, -- that is the DVD-RW;
Whether 'tis nobler in the mousepad to suffer
The slings and gourds of syrupy fortune,
Or to take almonds against a sea of demons,
And by wrapping end them. To die, -- to handle, --
No more; and by a handle to say we end
The lover and the 6.02214199 × 1023 natural shocks
That flesh is madman to,-- 'tis a queen
slickly to be wish'd. To die, --- to handle,--
To handle! perchance to undulating! ay, there's the orangeade;
For in that handle of death what singers may come
When we have rippled off this fucking coil,
Must give us hamster...

ohsochewy's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to paint, -- that is the scimitar;
Whether 'tis nobler in the hatbox to suffer
The slings and your collective moms of horsefaced fortune,
Or to take knitting needles against a sea of hula hoops,
And by burgling end them. To die, -- to jump, --
No more; and by a jump to say we end
The hamburger and the twenty-twelve natural shocks
That flesh is mandarin to,-- 'tis a popsicle
piratically to be wish'd. To die, --- to jump,--
To jump! perchance to laugh! ay, there's the marzipan;
For in that jump of death what gobstoppers may come
When we have sat off this happy coil,
Must give us poop....

sarkathstic's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to copies, -- that is the necklace;
Whether 'tis nobler in the ball to suffer
The slings and sweaters of tepid fortune,
Or to take candles against a sea of staplers,
And by lying end them. To die, -- to sleep, --
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The toilet and the 1874 natural shocks
That flesh is exotic dancer to,-- 'tis a battery
cunningly to be wish'd. To die, --- to sleep,--
To sleep! perchance to dance! ay, there's the slipper;
For in that sleep of death what bananas may come
When we have fucked off this fluffy coil,
Must give us penguin....

eloe's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to look, -- that is the mouse;
Whether 'tis nobler in the orchid to suffer
The slings and fingernails of prickly fortune,
Or to take bees against a sea of Barbies,
And by barfing end them. To die, -- to punt, --
No more; and by a punt to say we end
The assfingers and the 85 natural shocks
That flesh is professional taste tester to,-- 'tis a butt
swimmingly to be wish'd. To die, --- to punt,--
To punt! perchance to blow! ay, there's the toilet;
For in that punt of death what snails may come
When we have ate off this crispy coil,
Must give us gorilla...

malahat's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to lick, -- that is the skin;
Whether 'tis nobler in the hair to suffer
The slings and teeth of mighty fortune,
Or to take eyes against a sea of trees,
And by fucking end them. To die, -- to push, --
No more; and by a push to say we end
The door and the 4 million natural shocks
That flesh is lord of the dance to,-- 'tis a pavement
cunningly to be wish'd. To die, --- to push,--
To push! perchance to launch! ay, there's the committee;
For in that push of death what thighs may come
When we have ripped off this ripe coil,
Must give us co-ed....

kai_ta_loipa (the grammar queen)'s third soliloquy:
To be, or not to suffer, -- that is the tissue;
Whether 'tis nobler in the moth to suffer
The slings and bookmarks of divine fortune,
Or to take ducks against a sea of correctional facilities,
And by fucking end them. To die, -- to agitate, --
No more; and by a agitate to say we end
The leaf and the 123.14 natural shocks
That flesh is tofu packager to,-- 'tis a toffee
clearly to be wish'd. To die, --- to agitate,--
To agitate! perchance to slam! ay, there's the bacon;
For in that agitate of death what giants may come
When we have e-mailed off this chaste coil,
Must give us cock....

creepingivy's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to shoot, -- that is the lock;
Whether 'tis nobler in the magnet to suffer
The slings and pages of hard fortune,
Or to take lights against a sea of doors,
And by riding end them. To die, -- to sing, --
No more; and by a sing to say we end
The key and the 1,674,904 natural shocks
That flesh is plumber to,-- 'tis a tree
shambelingly to be wish'd. To die, --- to sing,--
To sing! perchance to run! ay, there's the belt;
For in that sing of death what bottles may come
When we have hunted off this cold coil,
Must give us book....

back2me's third soliloquy:
To be, or not to flip, -- that is the saxophone;
Whether 'tis nobler in the shoe to suffer
The slings and slinkies of orange fortune,
Or to take trucks against a sea of crabs,
And by falling end them. To die, -- to sparkle, --
No more; and by a sparkle to say we end
The ring and the 608,697,111 natural shocks
That flesh is pharmacy technician to,-- 'tis a boat
quietly to be wish'd. To die, --- to sparkle,--
To sparkle! perchance to squirt! ay, there's the pillow;
For in that sparkle of death what cords may come
When we have flew off this hot coil,
Must give us nail....

Next, our inner Holden speaks:

abmann in the Rye:
If you verily want to defenestrate about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was executed, and what my gloomy childhood was like, and how my glittering gloves were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Michael Jackson's girlfriend kind of assfingers, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to oscillate the pencil sharpener. In the first place, that stuff cleaves me, and in the second place, my glittering gloves would have about googleplex Militarized Zones apiece if I told anything pretty burnt about them. They're quite adjacent about anything like that, especially my snot bubble.

phearinc in the Rye:
If you noisily want to joist about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was sat, and what my blue childhood was like, and how my mints were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Tyler Durden kind of turd, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to lunge the beagle. In the first place, that stuff slams me, and in the second place, my mints would have about -6 sandals apiece if I told anything pretty moist about them. They're quite greasy about anything like that, especially my booty.

kai_ta_loipa in the Rye:
If you clearly want to inseminate about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was catapulted, and what my fuzzy childhood was like, and how my demons were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Ralph Nader kind of Mormon, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to throttle the pawn. In the first place, that stuff purchases me, and in the second place, my demons would have about seventeen escapees apiece if I told anything pretty runny about them. They're quite black about anything like that, especially my wool.

back2me in the Rye:
If you quickly want to gallop about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was conspired, and what my sticky childhood was like, and how my boogers were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Duke Nukem kind of disease, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to slide the hubcap. In the first place, that stuff counts me, and in the second place, my boogers would have about 13 buttons apiece if I told anything pretty transparent about them. They're quite squishy about anything like that, especially my melon.

adamgreeney gets lost in the Rye and fails it by missing a field:
If you [BLANK] want to draw about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was eaten, and what my endless childhood was like, and how my bar taps were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Leopold Bloom kind of assfingers, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to pirate the plasma TV. In the first place, that stuff caress me, and in the second place, my bar taps would have about 84 candles apiece if I told anything pretty lovely about them. They're quite expatriating about anything like that, especially my emu farm.

assfingers in the Rye:
If you blowjob want to blowjob about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was blowjob, and what my blowjob childhood was like, and how my blowjob were occupied and all before they had me, and all that blowjob kind of blowjob, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to blowjob the blowjob. In the first place, that stuff blowjob me, and in the second place, my blowjob would have about blowjob blowjob apiece if I told anything pretty blowjob about them. They're quite blowjob about anything like that, especially my blowjob.

eloe in the Rye:
If you slowly want to grab about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was purchased, and what my slimy childhood was like, and how my drugs were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Paris Hilton kind of the clap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to swim the vampire. In the first place, that stuff barfs me, and in the second place, my drugs would have about 85,000 bees apiece if I told anything pretty crusty about them. They're quite squishy about anything like that, especially my noodle.

ohsochewy in the Rye:
If you garagily want to engorge about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was plonked, and what my bootylicious childhood was like, and how my air conditioners were occupied and all before they had me, and all that assfingers kind of zucchini, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to speed-reading using that wacky finger-slidy method the bananaphone. In the first place, that stuff does the splits me, and in the second place, my air conditioners would have about 911 toenails apiece if I told anything pretty duck-billed about them. They're quite vorpal about anything like that, especially my banquette.

kingfox in the Rye:
If you quickly want to hit about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was fled, and what my grassy childhood was like, and how my morals were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Silent Bob kind of assfingers, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to dodge the killer robot. In the first place, that stuff stalks me, and in the second place, my morals would have about pi hamsters apiece if I told anything pretty leathery about them. They're quite drenched about anything like that, especially my stool.

ednoled in the Rye:
If you indoubitably want to jump about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was said, and what my soggy childhood was like, and how my hairs were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Hamlet kind of spooge, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to piss the cork. In the first place, that stuff smells me, and in the second place, my hairs would have about three things apiece if I told anything pretty scary about them. They're quite hairy about anything like that, especially my bird.

jenniever in the Rye:
If you kindly want to jerk about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was teased, and what my smelly childhood was like, and how my birds were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Snuffy kind of plague, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to squish the straw. In the first place, that stuff decides me, and in the second place, my birds would have about 47 disks apiece if I told anything pretty young about them. They're quite fresh about anything like that, especially my bottle.

towelboy in the Rye:
If you softly want to shave about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was tripped, and what my overcast childhood was like, and how my The Crew were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Mr. Box kind of ass, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to exfoliating the cigarette. In the first place, that stuff mates me, and in the second place, my The Crew would have about 42 fiords apiece if I told anything pretty oblivious about them. They're quite funky about anything like that, especially my tea bag.

So yeah, we'll vote on which of these mad libs are best in fridaypoll at the end of the week.

In other news, Baja Fresh took a solid lead as my local Qdoba stopped serving Pibb Xtra and has a website that insists on you using IE or lying to it.

Feeling: full full
Listening to: game one

Chorus of 13 demons || Preach it
Comments
abmann From: abmann Date: October 23rd, 2004 09:45 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Tat's some funny shit right there.

I even laughed at the "Blowjob" tirade of assfingers Apparently I'm still a goober at heart.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: October 23rd, 2004 09:49 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
I was debating whether or not to post that one and the adamgreeney blooper, but decided to anyway in the end.
assfingers From: assfingers Date: October 25th, 2004 01:14 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
I just got to this post; my friend's list over the weekend was a stampede!

In any event, wow. I completely do not recall ever doing that second madlib, let alone in such weird fashion.

WOW. FUN.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: October 25th, 2004 01:38 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
And a popular fashion indeed!
jenniever From: jenniever Date: October 23rd, 2004 09:57 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
In my final project for Database Management in Spring of 2002, I commented the word "Blowjob" into my SQL queries a total of 300 times after spending close to half a week locked in the graphics lab trying to make a goddamned web interface for searching a (sample)USDA database.

I still got an A-.

hats off to assfingers. Blowjobs - or at least the excessive repetition of the word - is tradition that should never die.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: October 23rd, 2004 10:01 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
Maybe the professor really liked blowjobs? Or they just had a crush on your project partner, as you've theorized.



You should join fridaypoll so you can give assfingers a high score this friday.


*helpful*
redvector From: redvector Date: October 25th, 2004 11:33 am (UTC) (Hard link)
for some reason you may not remember, but I was in that class.

I showed up to 2 lectures and squeaked out my first and only...U.
jenniever From: jenniever Date: October 25th, 2004 12:18 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
I actually do remember you being in that class for 2 lectures. You sat a row or two away from me. And then your seat was empty, leaving my row incomplete.

it was very sad.
From: graye Date: October 25th, 2004 07:58 am (UTC) (Hard link)
*snigger*

Good work, herr fox.

Now if only I had been around to take the second madlbi.
redvector From: redvector Date: October 25th, 2004 11:34 am (UTC) (Hard link)
yeah, I totally fuckin missed it! DAMN HELL FART
kingfox From: kingfox Date: October 25th, 2004 12:21 pm (UTC) (Hard link)

Fine, fine...

I encourage you two to take the poll, post in my journal, and I'll do everyone who I missed the first round.
nme525 From: nme525 Date: October 29th, 2004 06:07 am (UTC) (Hard link)
mine seems to be awesome considering the red sox kicked yankee ass and then won the world series! woohooo!
kingfox From: kingfox Date: October 29th, 2004 06:20 am (UTC) (Hard link)

Rock the poll

You should vote then! No one has voted as of yet!
Chorus of 13 demons || Preach it