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More missives about the missing Winslows... - Virtual Sacrifice Log
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kingfox
kingfox
More missives about the missing Winslows...
Before reading further, I direct the reader to part the first...


So after the youngest daughter is abandoned upstairs and forgotten for eternity, soon spreading pink for a sense of purpose, the eldest son is called upon to become the man of the house. Instead of finding satisfaction in this role, he traverses the country from Chicago to the land south of the border. Adopting a gruffer voice and designing some amazing cork-firing weapons, he joins forces with the spirit of central Jersey. Teaching the blond Jersey boy his tricks, they search the desolate lands, hunting those not killed during the bloodbath at the Titty Twister.



Dr. Gore
Florida

Date: 22 April 2003
Summary: Bon Jovi - Vampire Killer


*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

Bon Jovi, 80's rocker extraordinaire, does battle against bloodsucking vampires. The head vampire is WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE, preferably dead. So Bon Jovi is LIVING ON A PRAYER, ready to give the vampires some BAD MEDICINE. The vampires GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME as Bon Jovi prepares to bury them in a BED OF ROSES. Bon Jovi is no RUNAWAY. He's prepared to go out in a BLAZE OF GLORY.

I am blasting Bon Jovi as I write this. Yeah, I'm a child of the 80's. If only they could get Axl Rose to star in some B-movie, then we would be rocking. As far as this flick is concerned, imagine the first "Vampires", but without as much blood, gore, nudity or fun. It's pretty much the same story, only with Bon Jovi instead of James Woods. He'll BE THERE FOR YOU.


Imagine the joy that you can bring to your children's lives with a WarCraft III: Prince Arthas, Death Knight 7 Action Figure. When they see their friends, they'll say with pride, "I have a WarCraft III: Prince Arthas, Death Knight 7 Action Figure. Don't you wish you had a WarCraft III: Prince Arthas, Death Knight 7 Action Figure?" A neighborhood craze for WarCraft III: Prince Arthas, Death Knight 7 Action Figure would ensue, and you could relax knowing you started the WarCraft III: Prince Arthas, Death Knight 7 Action Figure revolution.

Feeling: sleepy sleepy
Listening to: Vampires: Los Muertos

Chorus of 2 demons || Preach it
Comments
jenniever From: jenniever Date: December 9th, 2003 10:27 pm (UTC) (Hard link)
So in love with the description of that action figure.

Also, somewhere on my ex-boyfriend's website (or maybe live journal)was his review of Bones with Snoop Doggy Dogg. I reccomend this film to Russ and everyone else reading this comment. It makes you a better person, simply by virtue of being so bad in comparison to you or anything you've done.

On a lighter note, I want to see Axel Rose in a B-movie. But preferably the young skinny axel rose. With the bandana. HOXXXT VAMPIRE.


Additionally, I enjoy the prospect of being a solo whackjob on a soap box. I think that suits my individualistic nature.
kingfox From: kingfox Date: December 10th, 2003 10:58 am (UTC) (Hard link)

It does indeed

You should watch Killjoy. I saw it more than thirteen moons ago, and it was a pretty horrible hip-hop horror flick. It might, and I can't compare having not seen both, be worse than Bones. It was horrifically bad, and gets a lower score on IMDB.
Chorus of 2 demons || Preach it